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I'm experiencing that weird kind of contentment that comes when I am unsettled. I got a fortune cookie once, that I taped up on my desk: "Adventure can be real happiness." Just in case that curses me somehow, I have taped next to it: "Serious trouble will bypass you." (And on the other side is "Your wish is about to come true." (I have a lot of wishes, so that one is going to work for a while.))

In any case, some people can't be content while unsettled, but I find that I thrive on movement. I have my moments of peace, and enjoy them, but that kind of groove too quickly becomes a rut. I'm awfully rational for believing this, but: I'm a classic Aries. I excel at beginnings. (Except for when I'm writing them. Middles are more my forte there.) And movement.

I had some settling time recently. Some slow time. Some time holed up in my office with my book. (Gee, pretty much the whole year.) Lately, I've come out of my introversion-space and remembered that I like people and places and adventures. That adventure can be real happiness.

I bolted off to lonfiction's place to write amongst strangers on what basically amounts to a whim. I slotted in ConClave for no obviously good reason--none of my con-going posse would be attending. But it was all good. Strangers became acquaintances and acquaintances became friends. It's liberating to abandon the familiar, something that I forget all too often. But I always manage to relearn the lesson, just in the nick of time.


( 4 comments — Leave a comment )
Oct. 14th, 2009 03:38 am (UTC)
I also went to ConClave for no obviously good reason[1]; I didn't know you'd be there, and in fact made my plans thinking that of my congoing friends only beamjockey and tanac were going to be there.

As it was you were also there, and sethb, and some people I'd met in passing at Penguicons; as you put it, "strangers became acquaintances and acquaintances became friends" and it turned out to be a very good con for me. It felt very reaffirming, especially given the context of our Saturday lunch conversation.

[1] Well, beyond "damn, I need a break and it's a long weekend".
Oct. 14th, 2009 06:51 pm (UTC)
...that I taped up on my desk..."

What was the one that you had at MITS? It said something to the effect of "Would you rather be happy or right?" and someone (I'm assuming it was you) had written "But what if it makes you happy to be right?"

I knew then that we would be getting along well in the future.
Oct. 14th, 2009 10:00 pm (UTC)
That was actually a flyer from Human Resources, but yes.
Oct. 15th, 2009 01:30 am (UTC)
this made me think of you
it's a bit from an interview with a poet who also taught writing for a while:

Carolyn Alterio: You've taught at several universities in Chicago and Iowa. What was your experience with teaching? Did it have a positive affect on your writing?

Li-Young Lee: You know it probably did, but I don’t know what I’m doing. You can’t just go into a classroom and say ‘I grope in the dark.’ There’s nothing to teach if you say that, so that was the hardest part for me with teaching, trying to formalize in words [for] what I just grope. ... It was probably good for me, but I think teaching is like sainthood. It’s a service of deep, deep significance, and I guess I’m just not cut out for it. I guess I don’t have a saint in me. I’m ashamed to admit that – I wish I could say I wanted to go out and do this. But reproducing consciousness, that’s no small thing! And that’s what you’re doing, I guess. Or you’re at least a mid-wife to the birth of other people’s consciousness.
( 4 comments — Leave a comment )

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