The VACUUM CLEANER fer dog's sake. The wound bled. I washed it. I slapped a bandage on it. I kept cleaning. But the kicker was last night, the thumb stopped wanting to bend, in kind of a weird way. Like in a "that cut wasn't nearly bad enough for this" kind of way. Like an infectious way. So, before bed, I reopened the wound and cleaned it out with hydrogen peroxide and slapped some Neosporin on it (I'm slow to Neosporin because I don't like to, you know, rely on that stuff). And this morning the thumb bent, with much less pain, and the wound looked kind of like a blister because I had managed to cut a skin-flap, not just lay open a tidy slice; but it was kind of red around the skin flap, and when I pressed on it, it oozed pus. PUS! So. Frickin'. Cool. I don't mean the essence of pus, or what it represents, but just... it's like magic. "Look what my body did!" So then I de-pussed and recleaned and 'sporined and bandaged and went on with my day.
I really wasn't meant to be a medical professional; I know that. But a little cut is like fun in the bank.