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Greatest spam or BEST spam?

Cake or Death? (Eddie Izzard)
You have been betrayed!!! It’s a pity that this how your life is going
to come to an end as your death had already been paid for by someone who is very
close to you from all investigations.

I have ordered 3 (three) of my men to monitor every move of you and make sure
you are not out of sight till the date of your assassination.

According to the report I gets, you seem to be innocent about what you have been
accuse but I have no business with that, so that’s why am contacting you to know
if truly you are innocent and how much you value your life.

Get back to me if you sure want to live on, ignore this mail only if you feel
it’s a joke or just a threat.

Don’t forget your days on earth are numbered, so you have the chance to live if
only you will comply with me.

WARNING: Tell no one about this mail to you because he or she might just be the
person who wants you dead, and if that happens, I will be aware and am going to
make sure you DIE instantly.

I will give you every detail of where to be and how to take any actions be it
legal or illegal, that’s only when I read from you.

You need to stay calm and act unaware of this situation and follow instructions
because any move you make that is suspicious; you will DIE as your days are
numbered.


Wow. I thought spam had really seen it's hay-day but this is awesome.

Comments

( 20 comments — Leave a comment )
beth_bernobich
Mar. 25th, 2012 09:47 pm (UTC)
Oh wow. That takes spam to a whole new level.

merriehaskell
Mar. 25th, 2012 10:10 pm (UTC)
Sure does.
cathshaffer
Mar. 25th, 2012 09:53 pm (UTC)
Hoo, boy. It's obvious spam, but it's also illegal as hell. Have you thought about contacting the authorities?
merriehaskell
Mar. 25th, 2012 10:16 pm (UTC)
Not particularly, since I don't believe this is in any way an actual threat, and because I can't even imagine how much time that might take.
cathshaffer
Mar. 25th, 2012 10:20 pm (UTC)
Hm, ok, looks like you can file a complaint online at this web site:

http://www.ic3.gov/default.aspx
cathshaffer
Mar. 25th, 2012 10:21 pm (UTC)
Looks like it's been going around, but usually there's a request for money.
stillnotbored
Mar. 25th, 2012 09:56 pm (UTC)
How much money did they ask for?
merriehaskell
Mar. 25th, 2012 10:09 pm (UTC)
They didn't! That's the whole email!
stillnotbored
Mar. 25th, 2012 10:19 pm (UTC)
I'm amazed. It had all the tang of a Nigerian bank scam. This group is missing a bet. ;)
domynoe
Mar. 25th, 2012 10:47 pm (UTC)
o.O
gwynnega
Mar. 25th, 2012 10:50 pm (UTC)
Wow, that spam almost deserves a special name. Spume, maybe.
dsgood
Mar. 26th, 2012 12:52 am (UTC)
Offer them your copyediting services.
mrgeddylee
Mar. 26th, 2012 04:48 am (UTC)
That would be the best response. "You have been betrayed! Whoever taught you English ignored critical aspects of our language. I have 3 (three) of my copyeditors standing by to assist you but you must obey all their instructions."
asakiyume
Mar. 26th, 2012 12:41 pm (UTC)
Yes, this!
dendrophilous
Mar. 26th, 2012 01:11 am (UTC)
That is pretty crazy.
leahbobet
Mar. 26th, 2012 05:02 am (UTC)
That is amazing.

I am starting all my e-mails henceforth "You have been betrayed!"
asakiyume
Mar. 26th, 2012 12:42 pm (UTC)
I have ordered 3 (three) of my men to monitor every move of you and make sure
you are not out of sight till the date of your assassination.


OH MY GOD HOW AWESOME IS THAT?!

This is not spam; this is someone who's found a new way to assure their latest novel start gets read by the widest possible number of readers.
matthewsrotundo
Mar. 26th, 2012 01:47 pm (UTC)
Wow. I never get cool spam like that. Clearly, I'm doing it wrong.
elis
Mar. 26th, 2012 01:47 pm (UTC)

Looks like someone did the Black Sacrament to call the Dark Brotherhood. Don't worry. Now that Astrid is dead and I am in charge, we'll ignore this particular request.

But. When it comes time to move on the new emperor of Tamriel, I will be calling in this favor.
madwriter
Mar. 26th, 2012 11:51 pm (UTC)
Well, apparently the person who took out the hit doesn't yet know that you've spread this around!
( 20 comments — Leave a comment )

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